Monday, March 26, 2007

Skipping to Victory

Satisfaction is a compromise.

It's the last week of March. My favorite month of the calender year was elusive and committed to efficiency, as I only now notice how quietly it has zipped past.

March is the most active period for hoops. By 'hoops', my intention was to make a hip/fresh reference to the legitimate sport of basketball, but apparently I should leave modern lingo up to the kids. Basketball seasons of all levels begin to conclude, highlighted by the top amateur league in the nation, the NCAA.

The NCAA Men's Basketball tournament has grown popular over the years, drawing fans from all over the country to view the spectacular showings of athleticism and racial turnabout. In fact, many American gentlemen wager money on the event, most frequently in mass gambling collections known as 'pools'.

I myself have tried my luck in one of these 'pools', and let me tell you: it sure makes the games more interesting for an otherwise uninterested chum such as yourself!

A few points:

1. Ohio State University is Wanted for Murder
I have 3 distinct brackets in 3 separate pools, each with a certain team finding somewhat unexpected success. The Ohio State Buckeyes, with their treelike treachery, have found ways to snip two thirds of my hopeful champions.

First they took out Xavier, my dark horse that was sure to make all the ladies want me in their arms again. The Musketeers from Cincinnati (Xavier) had the Buckeyes (OSU) physically, literally, and spiritually beaten. All it would take is a simple foul shot and the #1 see in the South Regional would fall, just as I expected.

Nope. Those Columbus bastards won.

Then came Tennessee, the 5th seed with momentum and the featured actors in my bracket, "I Actually Put Some Thought Into This One". The Volunteers scored 126 points in their first-round slaughtering of Long Beach State (the Dirtbags were cleaned out LOL) only to take out the respectable Virginia Cavaliers in a much closer contest. OSU were the next in line, and TU surprised many with a twenty point lead as the initial half came to a close. It wasn't a quiet twenty points, either. The Volunteers were everywhere, making the Buckeyes look like a couple of white kids in snowboots. Point of the matter, the men in that indescribable orange color were rollin'.

Nope. Ohio State won with a frustratingly effective comeback.

Which brings me to...

2. Who Told this Guy to Shoot the Ball No Matter How Many Opponents were in the Way?

Players just don't know how to set up game winning shots any more.

The Buckeyes slit two of my allies' throats, and now they have their knives at Georgetown's jugular, sharply ready to end all my hope for cash winnings.

Now I must place my dreams in the capable hands of Patrick Ewing's offspring.

May your April be fertile and untouched.

Denounce the ending,

Monday, March 12, 2007

Cool calm clam

I live as though a cursed object is causing all my woes, and all troubles will cease if the talisman is promptly removed or at least transferred to another's possession.

This means I'm crazy.

It's been a while...since I've posted on sequential evenings, but it feels good to do so.


It does.

Looking forward to something has always been the key to my motivation; the thought of better times ahead kept me moving/grooving. Looking backward is a suitable replacement, although it's proven to serve as an unnecessary pit stop.

The coolest thing before sliced bread was probably a bread slicer.

Musketeers all the way.

Avoiding avoidance,
Brett Bubbles

Sunday, March 11, 2007

In a Sentence

Overwhelm yourself
with the overwhelming warmth
of fucking up.

Maybe someday
you'll figure out that
you're not a contraction
at all.

Two discrete words,
discreetly obvious.
It's not meant to be
that way.

For one, they do not
share a language of origin, nor a pronunciation.

But damn. They were effective.
Closing gaps, filling space
and your face.

Grammar police wooo woo wooo.

Act like I'm nothing.
Act like I'm garbage.
Act like I'm obscure.
Act like I'm nothing.

It's easy being nothing.

Sprint to your doom,

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Legacy Estates

Sometimes you just gotta publicly say:

"Holy shit, I'm a big loser."

To me, the word 'loser' is a precursor to 'failure', a title awarded to those constantly thigh-deep in a pit of either inadequacy or self-pity.

It's a good time to be a loser.

A few things...

My new favorite cereal

...balls. That's not even the right kind. I swear the boxes are identical.

Imagine frosted flakes with subtle strawberry tongue-ticklers, endorsed and engraved with a half-dozen heroins from your cherished childhood chronicles.

Simple, tasty, satisfying AND IT TURNS YOUR MILK PINK.

What's weird about my love for Disney Princess Fairytale Flakes is my initial loathing of its flavor, which isn't spectacular...BUT DOES LUCKY CHARMS HAVE THE APPROVAL OF SNOW WHITE I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO.

Cheaters is a reality television program bases on two-way deception. Racial Stereotypes can expose their unfaithful others by means of spy-cameras and nonlethal hitmen. After gathering evidence, the 'cheatees' can seek the truth/revenge with an incriminating intervention, complete with brawls and enough screaming to make Slipknot look like Rockapella.

The host is the most entertaining aspect, however. His name is Joey Greco, he excels at broke sentences and starting fights when there otherwise isn't a need for one.

Buy his t-shirt!!

They'll learn.

Spanish Politics,

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Ripping some old ones

People have actually blamed my Blog for Lance Bass's sexual choice unveiling.

I happened to mention *NSync's appropriately named bass singer in a typically amateur Blogpost, mostly as a "think of a celebrity" reference. He's always been my favorite member of the defunct boy-band due to his shyness and Brett Favre appraisal, so including him seemed fine enough.

Notice how the post was BEFORE his came out of the closet.

I'll admit that it was a bit eerie; Lance was not in the news prior to his famous cover-shot and headline quote and having a random reference be the talk of the press makes me ponder a little harder than I should.

As stated before, several individuals scorned my blog for "turning Lance gay". Just to prove them wrong, here is one thought/item regarding every OTHER member of *NSync and we'll see what happens.


This makes up for Sexyback...well, almost.

JC Chasez

Look, a self-proclaimed classic!


Joey plans to star alongside Lance (Bass) in a new sitcom, scheduled to begin airing sometime in 2007. The show will be broadcasted on the CW Network, which is apparently the hybrid of the WB and UPN (think of it as a mixed-race couple's baby.) How the network will advertise is beyond me, although I personally suggest a "Ghetto Emo" approach.


Chris's last name is a combination of Star Trek Captains (James T. KIRK played by Billy Shatner and Jean-Luc Picard played by PATRICK Stewart). This means his ancestors were not only trekkies, but ORACLE TREKKIES, for they could see the future of science fiction AND dedicate themselves to it.

There. Science will carry out the rest.

Standing logs could be sliding frogs.

Jealous buoyancy,
Brettsten Warx

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Exposition to a marriage

It's like talking to the next stall: you have no idea whether a person is occupying the porcelain throne, but you maintain your conversational efforts without the concrete evidence of another party.

Maybe it's time I look myself over for wasting too much time looking myself over. Certain areas of me feel they must compensate for violent procrastination, while others are entirely spontaneous, living life as the page turner turns the page.

How can one be persuaded when they are having a hella time convincing themselves? Dramaturgy's posterchildren exist everywhere at every time, usually oblivious to their lines or blocking, although they consistently execute perfectly.

Shit, opening night is merely upon us.

Perhaps my Blog should be topical, with current events and Michael Jackson rips.

"datz not hiz real noze!!"

Publish my violet innards, day after week.

Jolly chlorine,
Brett (Riggasluffsus poseur)

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Or Real

Do it yourself
Nothing says independence like a little independence
and I'm not talking about
a city in Missouri.

Someday, blindness will cease
Leaving myself and my dogs
barking at the Sun, assuming
it's the Moon.

But it's not.

It's fucking not.

All the time
the way is found
to Maximize me into
something else. A something else
that is efficiently upset
like a tortured clam.

A shellion that remains
to be subtly obvious and ruthlessly grim,
yet innocently hopeful and kind as a Kennedy.

Don't take the lead when it's not mine.

Undefeated only means
You're not seasoned.

Or real.

Malice Alice,
Brett from the Set