M796AEC97N
The clock melted down as the computer prepared to make its very random, but also very important, decision. 3672 participants, 1 winner. The entire beings of people were represented by a mere 10-digit code, and one fortunate man or woman was going to bring home the special prize.
This is the way of life known as "The Every 10 Minutes" game presented by Mountain Dew and Yahoo. Buy a bottle/case of Mountain Dew, and you earn a special order of numbers and letters. Enter this arrangement of figures into www.Every10Minutes.com and you know have the chance to win the ultimate prize: an XBox 360.
If you watch TV you have seen the ad for this sweepstakes. It involves an extactic black dude and a guy with Ron Burgendy-like punctuation.
Announcer: So you didn't win an XBox 360 blah blah...
Black Dude: (running with X360 package over his head, very happy) I won an XBox 360! This is the best day of my life!
Blessed are the hopeful, as they will never truely give up.
White Guy: I'm a winner...maybe!
I have a confession to make. Every has had some type of addiction, whether is has been Josh Hartnett or Heroine is up to them. My obsession was the "Dew U" promotion, another orange-cap game from Mountain Dew. Sure, everyone collected them, but I took a bit far. Sometime after dumpster-diving, looking for empty 20 oz bottles, was when I realized I had a problem.
Although I fought my habit, the orange caps kept coming, as did the points. Even after I got enough for my inital goal (And 1 basketball Jersey), I continued looking. Those bottle-caps where the ice cream to my internal milk-shake, and to hell if they weren't risking my life for.
The promo finally ended, and I had 2 new pieces of attire to show for all the scabrous work I went through. I doubt if the shirts have been worn more than 10 times. So the prizes weren't what I hoped for, but you know what I got from it all? Fucking accomplishment. Who else could earn 400 points worth of garbage-digging and dignity-losing? Don't answer that.
The year(s) past, and I defeated my dependence on Moutain Dew sweepstakes. None of them seemed to have the same appeal after the experience I got when one was taken a bit too seriously. You can only drink so much pop...
Cut to August 2005. With the release of the next generation systems mere months away, Pepsi cashed in on the heifer, in the form of the "Every 10 Minutes" sweepstakes. Here we are today, with me on my computer. Typing as I pray that my one faithful 20 oz will bring me satisfaction for the final time...
The Mountain Dew quickly enters my body. With the bottle empty, it's time to save the world and recycle. The cap and the bottle are seperated for good. I check the underbelly of the lid to find 10 characters. 10 characters that just may make life that much easier. 10 characters that could be just like the other 23 million codes: losers.
M796AEC97N. Possibly confused for a German word in 1337, or maybe a way to represent prisioners. Alas, this squad of 5 seemingly accidental numbers and a quintet of equally random letters will be my V.I.P. pass to the gaming event of the year. Not only, if victorious, will I recieve the XBox 360 system, but I'll get it earlier than everyone else who buys the system when it arrives in stores on November 22nd.
I type in the code. God speed, little fella. The games requires me to quick a time period, represented by what time the winner is picked. 11:30 seems good enough, with only 3672 other participants in the drawing. You know what 1/3672 equals to? .0027233115468409586, approximately. Still plenty of hope.
Yup. Time to kill. Hey, what if I actually win this contest?
Click. You cannot see the comic without clicking on it. Click.
The counter reads 14:52. Dammit, what's taking so long? Maybe music will make the time go faster.
"You can suck all the dick you want and still be a virgin, Mary!"
Ah, sometimes I wish it was winter when theoretically I shouldn't. The counter reads 10:49.
Crunchtime: 10 minutes left. 36,000 seconds until it was my turn to be a winner...maybe. Time flows away all but too quickly.
Tick tock, tick tock
ife is tough when you're a clock.
Quarter after, or 12 o'clock
Tick tock, tick tock.
The counter reads 6:27.
I wonder why, I wonder how. Why does Moutain Dew give them away every 10 minutes? How can they afford this? My virtual raffle-drawing is now the featured one on the site, meaning the next winner will either be M796AEC97N or another code who defeated it. I hope and pray he makes it out okay...there's some type of personal attachment there, huh? The counter reads 2:11.
My heart begins to pump blood at a faster rate to support my rapidly-moving mind. 3674 to 1 odds...and it's probably even worse now. Dude...did I really think I could win a fucking MD contest with just one cap? That's like expecting a lone soldier using only a knife to defeat an entire army. Or believing Dante Culpepper was capable of completing a foward pass while there were more than 2 guys trying to hinder his throw. The counter reads 0:34. I can't take it anymore. Wait, what was the contest for? Oh yeah, a next-gen video game system. I like video games...
"Please God, if I win this contest, I will sell it for a thousand-oddsum dollars and donate half to charity and the other part to my PS3 fund. Amen"
The counter reads 0:01.
This is the way of life known as "The Every 10 Minutes" game presented by Mountain Dew and Yahoo. Buy a bottle/case of Mountain Dew, and you earn a special order of numbers and letters. Enter this arrangement of figures into www.Every10Minutes.com and you know have the chance to win the ultimate prize: an XBox 360.
If you watch TV you have seen the ad for this sweepstakes. It involves an extactic black dude and a guy with Ron Burgendy-like punctuation.
Announcer: So you didn't win an XBox 360 blah blah...
Black Dude: (running with X360 package over his head, very happy) I won an XBox 360! This is the best day of my life!
Blessed are the hopeful, as they will never truely give up.
White Guy: I'm a winner...maybe!
I have a confession to make. Every has had some type of addiction, whether is has been Josh Hartnett or Heroine is up to them. My obsession was the "Dew U" promotion, another orange-cap game from Mountain Dew. Sure, everyone collected them, but I took a bit far. Sometime after dumpster-diving, looking for empty 20 oz bottles, was when I realized I had a problem.
Although I fought my habit, the orange caps kept coming, as did the points. Even after I got enough for my inital goal (And 1 basketball Jersey), I continued looking. Those bottle-caps where the ice cream to my internal milk-shake, and to hell if they weren't risking my life for.
The promo finally ended, and I had 2 new pieces of attire to show for all the scabrous work I went through. I doubt if the shirts have been worn more than 10 times. So the prizes weren't what I hoped for, but you know what I got from it all? Fucking accomplishment. Who else could earn 400 points worth of garbage-digging and dignity-losing? Don't answer that.
The year(s) past, and I defeated my dependence on Moutain Dew sweepstakes. None of them seemed to have the same appeal after the experience I got when one was taken a bit too seriously. You can only drink so much pop...
Cut to August 2005. With the release of the next generation systems mere months away, Pepsi cashed in on the heifer, in the form of the "Every 10 Minutes" sweepstakes. Here we are today, with me on my computer. Typing as I pray that my one faithful 20 oz will bring me satisfaction for the final time...
The Mountain Dew quickly enters my body. With the bottle empty, it's time to save the world and recycle. The cap and the bottle are seperated for good. I check the underbelly of the lid to find 10 characters. 10 characters that just may make life that much easier. 10 characters that could be just like the other 23 million codes: losers.
M796AEC97N. Possibly confused for a German word in 1337, or maybe a way to represent prisioners. Alas, this squad of 5 seemingly accidental numbers and a quintet of equally random letters will be my V.I.P. pass to the gaming event of the year. Not only, if victorious, will I recieve the XBox 360 system, but I'll get it earlier than everyone else who buys the system when it arrives in stores on November 22nd.
I type in the code. God speed, little fella. The games requires me to quick a time period, represented by what time the winner is picked. 11:30 seems good enough, with only 3672 other participants in the drawing. You know what 1/3672 equals to? .0027233115468409586, approximately. Still plenty of hope.
Yup. Time to kill. Hey, what if I actually win this contest?
Click. You cannot see the comic without clicking on it. Click.
The counter reads 14:52. Dammit, what's taking so long? Maybe music will make the time go faster.
"You can suck all the dick you want and still be a virgin, Mary!"
Ah, sometimes I wish it was winter when theoretically I shouldn't. The counter reads 10:49.
Crunchtime: 10 minutes left. 36,000 seconds until it was my turn to be a winner...maybe. Time flows away all but too quickly.
Tick tock, tick tock
ife is tough when you're a clock.
Quarter after, or 12 o'clock
Tick tock, tick tock.
The counter reads 6:27.
I wonder why, I wonder how. Why does Moutain Dew give them away every 10 minutes? How can they afford this? My virtual raffle-drawing is now the featured one on the site, meaning the next winner will either be M796AEC97N or another code who defeated it. I hope and pray he makes it out okay...there's some type of personal attachment there, huh? The counter reads 2:11.
My heart begins to pump blood at a faster rate to support my rapidly-moving mind. 3674 to 1 odds...and it's probably even worse now. Dude...did I really think I could win a fucking MD contest with just one cap? That's like expecting a lone soldier using only a knife to defeat an entire army. Or believing Dante Culpepper was capable of completing a foward pass while there were more than 2 guys trying to hinder his throw. The counter reads 0:34. I can't take it anymore. Wait, what was the contest for? Oh yeah, a next-gen video game system. I like video games...
"Please God, if I win this contest, I will sell it for a thousand-oddsum dollars and donate half to charity and the other part to my PS3 fund. Amen"
The counter reads 0:01.
posted by Warx at 10:24 PM
1 Comments:
Excellent piece of prose, dear Brettzki.
I'm gonna punch you right in the babymaker.
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