Elite nouns and hunched phraises

In a world where althetics were like video games:

1. Those who practice more would suceed more.
2. Strategy > Ability
3. Instead of 'Andre Carter' and 'Randy Johnston', stars would have cool names like 'NEO' and 'ItWasLuck.'
4. You could not distinguish the competitors from the fans.
5. RedBull and Bawls would be official sponsors and used in postgame-celebrations/pregame rituals.

If video games were more similar to sports:

1. LogiTech and MadKatz would dish out controller endorsement deals.
2. A n00b could easily pwn a seasoned vet, assuming the newcomer has the knack of unconquerable subconscious skill.
3. A professional Mario player could be paid millions while he gets consistently dominated by the first goomba.

/realization

Oh noes! I'm posting on the blog!

Why didn't anyone tell me?

Tangerine corncob,
Brett-1-1