Monday, March 26, 2007

Skipping to Victory

Satisfaction is a compromise.

It's the last week of March. My favorite month of the calender year was elusive and committed to efficiency, as I only now notice how quietly it has zipped past.

March is the most active period for hoops. By 'hoops', my intention was to make a hip/fresh reference to the legitimate sport of basketball, but apparently I should leave modern lingo up to the kids. Basketball seasons of all levels begin to conclude, highlighted by the top amateur league in the nation, the NCAA.

The NCAA Men's Basketball tournament has grown popular over the years, drawing fans from all over the country to view the spectacular showings of athleticism and racial turnabout. In fact, many American gentlemen wager money on the event, most frequently in mass gambling collections known as 'pools'.

I myself have tried my luck in one of these 'pools', and let me tell you: it sure makes the games more interesting for an otherwise uninterested chum such as yourself!

A few points:

1. Ohio State University is Wanted for Murder
I have 3 distinct brackets in 3 separate pools, each with a certain team finding somewhat unexpected success. The Ohio State Buckeyes, with their treelike treachery, have found ways to snip two thirds of my hopeful champions.

First they took out Xavier, my dark horse that was sure to make all the ladies want me in their arms again. The Musketeers from Cincinnati (Xavier) had the Buckeyes (OSU) physically, literally, and spiritually beaten. All it would take is a simple foul shot and the #1 see in the South Regional would fall, just as I expected.

Nope. Those Columbus bastards won.

Then came Tennessee, the 5th seed with momentum and the featured actors in my bracket, "I Actually Put Some Thought Into This One". The Volunteers scored 126 points in their first-round slaughtering of Long Beach State (the Dirtbags were cleaned out LOL) only to take out the respectable Virginia Cavaliers in a much closer contest. OSU were the next in line, and TU surprised many with a twenty point lead as the initial half came to a close. It wasn't a quiet twenty points, either. The Volunteers were everywhere, making the Buckeyes look like a couple of white kids in snowboots. Point of the matter, the men in that indescribable orange color were rollin'.

Nope. Ohio State won with a frustratingly effective comeback.

Which brings me to...

2. Who Told this Guy to Shoot the Ball No Matter How Many Opponents were in the Way?

Players just don't know how to set up game winning shots any more.

The Buckeyes slit two of my allies' throats, and now they have their knives at Georgetown's jugular, sharply ready to end all my hope for cash winnings.

Now I must place my dreams in the capable hands of Patrick Ewing's offspring.

May your April be fertile and untouched.

Denounce the ending,


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