Eat a bucket of tuna-liver catfood and wash it down with four gallons of Yahoo chocolate soda

Holy motherfucking elephant-shit, it's the 2006 after Christ. 2 milleniums ago, Jesus was learning about the world and the cruels ways of its people, but he probably already knew that. Things would go bad for Our Savior when, a few years later, he discovered his first pimple and pubic hair on the same day that his voice began to squeak.

Jesus fought his way through these awkward but normal changes, but during high school he found himself surrounded by temptation in the form of a mystical herb and a chemical that made people do stuff they wouldn't do elsewise. Luckily, he never got into that stuff as he stuck to healthier activities, like his involvement in his school's yearbook program.

And he went on to die for our sins, blah blah blah, end of this wannabe joke. 

*Cliche resolution post
1. Don't suck at life
2. Find new hosting plan
3. Learn how to draw, actually
4. Beat Kingdom Hearts II after forgetting about everything else in life
5. Defeat boredom

The Oh-Six only brings one huge thing that comes to mind: the almighty PS3, possibly more of a girlfriend that I'll ever know. Think about the qualities of the system for a second:

-Costly and expensive
-Time consuming
-Incredibly rewarding

The Playstation 3 can be compared to a woman such as Halle Barry: beautiful, dark, performs well. Meanwhile, the XBox 360's lack of size and quick release reminds me of the sexually-unnattractive-but-very-active Paris Hilton, who is now referenced on this site more than I am. Helen Degeneres...I mean the Nintendo Revolution, watches from the outskirts as this console cat fight that is the Next-gen War carries out over the decade, leaving entire bank accounts in their wrath.

That's right, I called the Revolution quirky and gay, but you know what? Homosexuality is cool, you fucking 'phobes.

Quote of Week:
"An escape is just a really, really good distraction"

Plastic exsistance,
Happy New Year, I mean Brettzki