Jesus threw up the horns.
College football, a past obsession of mine, has come and gone, all the while I really didn't notice it was sprinting past. But as the national championship of the NCAA, the Rose Bowl, was played last night in Pasadena, something occured to me:
college football has become a showcase for stellar players and their equally great-egos. Since colons are so damn cool, this picture sums it up:
Seriously, he can't hear you.
1. Individuality is what makes America America and not the United Colonies of Britian, and therefore everyone should strive for it, just a little at least. NCAA footballers love the concept of being a standout, and hey! What better way to accomplish that then by displaying countless nearly-worthless accessories? Between Texas (above) and USC (the other team in the Rose Bowl), the average gear count per player was somewhere between 4 and 17. If someone wore receiver gloves, numberous livestrong bands, a skull cap and socks on their arms, then they were the boring and unexpressive members of the team.
2. Vince Young (QB Texas) has to be the best college athlete in the millenium from what he displayed Wednesday. You won't get any stats, but you will get my word. His tremendous skills in football has earned him more followers than scientology and Islam combined. Say he wanted to modify the name of Austin, Texas (which hosts the University, population of 680,000) to "Vince Young, Texas." Not only is that accomplishable, but his word could overthrow the Federal government all together. Pretty soon we'll be living under his grace and power, bow down to Vince or you will get the bull and the horns!
Vince Young: Bitch, clean my shoes!
George Bush: Yes, master. *licks
VY: Faster!
America can only hope.
3. Extending paragraph numero uno a little bit, today's players also have the most extravagent celebrations not requiring any professional choreography or backflipping dogs. Every play results in some sort of showboating, whether it's subtle or unnecessarily long, and one can only imagine the amount of trash-talking involved in post-play scuffles and stare-downs.
Texas player #1: USC? That must stand for Ugly-Suckas-College!
USC player #1: Dude, you're from Texas.
Texas player #1:...
Texas player #2: Shut up surferboy!
*and the game continued, as scheduled.
Is this a blogpost dissing jocks and their athletic ways? No, not at all. It's a mere finger that points out all the unqiueness of college football, or the ones displayed in the Rose Bowl, at least.
Quote of the whatever:to."
"Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto."
Styx can and will sue me,
Brettzki on the evening of January the 6th.
college football has become a showcase for stellar players and their equally great-egos. Since colons are so damn cool, this picture sums it up:
Seriously, he can't hear you.
1. Individuality is what makes America America and not the United Colonies of Britian, and therefore everyone should strive for it, just a little at least. NCAA footballers love the concept of being a standout, and hey! What better way to accomplish that then by displaying countless nearly-worthless accessories? Between Texas (above) and USC (the other team in the Rose Bowl), the average gear count per player was somewhere between 4 and 17. If someone wore receiver gloves, numberous livestrong bands, a skull cap and socks on their arms, then they were the boring and unexpressive members of the team.
2. Vince Young (QB Texas) has to be the best college athlete in the millenium from what he displayed Wednesday. You won't get any stats, but you will get my word. His tremendous skills in football has earned him more followers than scientology and Islam combined. Say he wanted to modify the name of Austin, Texas (which hosts the University, population of 680,000) to "Vince Young, Texas." Not only is that accomplishable, but his word could overthrow the Federal government all together. Pretty soon we'll be living under his grace and power, bow down to Vince or you will get the bull and the horns!
Vince Young: Bitch, clean my shoes!
George Bush: Yes, master. *licks
VY: Faster!
America can only hope.
3. Extending paragraph numero uno a little bit, today's players also have the most extravagent celebrations not requiring any professional choreography or backflipping dogs. Every play results in some sort of showboating, whether it's subtle or unnecessarily long, and one can only imagine the amount of trash-talking involved in post-play scuffles and stare-downs.
Texas player #1: USC? That must stand for Ugly-Suckas-College!
USC player #1: Dude, you're from Texas.
Texas player #1:...
Texas player #2: Shut up surferboy!
*and the game continued, as scheduled.
Is this a blogpost dissing jocks and their athletic ways? No, not at all. It's a mere finger that points out all the unqiueness of college football, or the ones displayed in the Rose Bowl, at least.
Quote of the whatever:to."
"Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto."
Styx can and will sue me,
Brettzki on the evening of January the 6th.
posted by Warx at 5:30 PM
1 Comments:
Craka-lackin'.
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