Thursday, February 22, 2007

Legacy Estates

Sometimes you just gotta publicly say:

"Holy shit, I'm a big loser."

To me, the word 'loser' is a precursor to 'failure', a title awarded to those constantly thigh-deep in a pit of either inadequacy or self-pity.

It's a good time to be a loser.


A few things...

My new favorite cereal


...balls. That's not even the right kind. I swear the boxes are identical.

Imagine frosted flakes with subtle strawberry tongue-ticklers, endorsed and engraved with a half-dozen heroins from your cherished childhood chronicles.

Simple, tasty, satisfying AND IT TURNS YOUR MILK PINK.

What's weird about my love for Disney Princess Fairytale Flakes is my initial loathing of its flavor, which isn't spectacular...BUT DOES LUCKY CHARMS HAVE THE APPROVAL OF SNOW WHITE I DON'T FUCKING THINK SO.

CHEATERS
Cheaters is a reality television program bases on two-way deception. Racial Stereotypes can expose their unfaithful others by means of spy-cameras and nonlethal hitmen. After gathering evidence, the 'cheatees' can seek the truth/revenge with an incriminating intervention, complete with brawls and enough screaming to make Slipknot look like Rockapella.

The host is the most entertaining aspect, however. His name is Joey Greco, he excels at broke sentences and starting fights when there otherwise isn't a need for one.

Buy his t-shirt!!

They'll learn.


Spanish Politics,
Brettamonopia

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Ripping some old ones

People have actually blamed my Blog for Lance Bass's sexual choice unveiling.

I happened to mention *NSync's appropriately named bass singer in a typically amateur Blogpost, mostly as a "think of a celebrity" reference. He's always been my favorite member of the defunct boy-band due to his shyness and Brett Favre appraisal, so including him seemed fine enough.

Notice how the post was BEFORE his came out of the closet.

I'll admit that it was a bit eerie; Lance was not in the news prior to his famous cover-shot and headline quote and having a random reference be the talk of the press makes me ponder a little harder than I should.


As stated before, several individuals scorned my blog for "turning Lance gay". Just to prove them wrong, here is one thought/item regarding every OTHER member of *NSync and we'll see what happens.

JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE


This makes up for Sexyback...well, almost.

JC Chasez

Look, a self-proclaimed classic!

JOEY FATONE

Joey plans to star alongside Lance (Bass) in a new sitcom, scheduled to begin airing sometime in 2007. The show will be broadcasted on the CW Network, which is apparently the hybrid of the WB and UPN (think of it as a mixed-race couple's baby.) How the network will advertise is beyond me, although I personally suggest a "Ghetto Emo" approach.

CHRIS KIRKPATRICK

Chris's last name is a combination of Star Trek Captains (James T. KIRK played by Billy Shatner and Jean-Luc Picard played by PATRICK Stewart). This means his ancestors were not only trekkies, but ORACLE TREKKIES, for they could see the future of science fiction AND dedicate themselves to it.

There. Science will carry out the rest.

Standing logs could be sliding frogs.


Jealous buoyancy,
Brettsten Warx

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Exposition to a marriage

It's like talking to the next stall: you have no idea whether a person is occupying the porcelain throne, but you maintain your conversational efforts without the concrete evidence of another party.

Maybe it's time I look myself over for wasting too much time looking myself over. Certain areas of me feel they must compensate for violent procrastination, while others are entirely spontaneous, living life as the page turner turns the page.

How can one be persuaded when they are having a hella time convincing themselves? Dramaturgy's posterchildren exist everywhere at every time, usually oblivious to their lines or blocking, although they consistently execute perfectly.

Shit, opening night is merely upon us.


Perhaps my Blog should be topical, with current events and Michael Jackson rips.

"datz not hiz real noze!!"

Publish my violet innards, day after week.


Jolly chlorine,
Brett (Riggasluffsus poseur)