Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Just comin' back, tell the folks at home.

If you have been a reader of the site since the early days, pay really close attention and have a near-photographic memory, then you may have noticed some slight changes to some of the older articles. These alterations occur primarily in the picture department, as Geocities sucks and I wish that HTML wasn't so different from standing upright.

The paragraph prior to this one is a bit of a lead-up. JHF might leave Geocities in favor of a superior web-hosting service. FreeWebs has already been ruled out, as to be really, really sucks. If anyone is out there have ideas, don't be afraid to yet me/public know, it'll make the world a better place...somehow.

There are three sites that I based JHF off of:
Progressive Boink
Head Injury Theater
...all of which are leagues beyond me and my humble efforts to occupy. They each have their unique strong points, along with several styles of writing/art. Check em out!

*wishes for a scanner.

Here's your chance to contribute to the "community" of JHF. How can I make the site better, and how can that be achieved?

With closed eyes,
-Brettzki of December 1st.

Friday, November 25, 2005

How about love?

Hope you guys enjoyed the "Thanksgiving" article. There were many sleepless nights and hours spent fussing over my self-imposed deadline. To be honest, it sucked. My work, especially when hurried, sucks. I might as well spend my time writing instead of rushing, eh?

There's going to be 2 updates before Christmas, for sure. Both happen to be school assignments that feature me doing what I spend my free-time on, which excites every cell in my brain, even the one I store away for thoughtful conversations. A review comes from ye ol English class, and to fulfil my responsibility to an art teacher a comic has to be made. School rules sometimes.

It was Thanksgiving, and right fully so, here's what I appreciate in life:
-Family/friends (one in the same)
-Peter Jackson in all his holiness
-Al Gore, for helping invent the internet you f'ing bastards
-Every single reader this site sheepishly recieves/gets honored by
-Penny Arcade
-Jesus, for dying for our sins and all

This weekend, countless boyfriends will be dragged to movie theaters. With such films as "Harry Potter", "Walk the Line", and "Get Rich or Die Trying" playing mere feet away, the gentlement followers are forced to endure "Rent". Many will unexpectantly love it. I am one of those chosen few.

It's true: I'm an obideient boyfriend, cough *whipped* cough yaddayaddayadda. Jean (the girl) has been a Renthead since she viewed the Broadway musical in well...Broadway. With a movie based on the show coming out, she flocked to the cinema and enjoyed so as it launched the day after the XBox 360. The following Thanksgiving day, she had to view it again. I got involved, somehow, and found myself displeased in the very cinema from the previous day.

Getting past some extremely minor (were talking 56-A, baseball fans!) personal stress, the movie started. 2 and half hours later we strolled hand-in-hand out of the screening room, both with a trickle of tears in the eyes.

I guess what I'm trying to say it:

You heard the large black man with a kitana. Posted by Picasa

Cherish your friends, they are better than any belonging,

Monday, November 21, 2005

Another deserves to rust.

*Update update
Thanksgiving article is almost finished, should have it up before the holiday this Thursday. It's not filled with the spirit of the times, but what is?

*Back to the Blog
Paris Hilton: Brat. Prostitute. Author? In the year's largest "WTF" event (for me at least), store selves have been shat upon by a whore weilding a small canine. The droppings come in the form of not one, but TWO books "written" by the pulp-culture star/punching bag, rather than another infamous porno tape. Sorry, cronic masterbaters.

I recently got my mits one of the *ahem, novels that was basically created by 2 hired writers. The one in my possesion?:

Does she even know what "heiress" means? Posted by Picasa

They say everyone should be able to create at least one book in their normal lives. This novel is usually a story about the writer's life, or possibly a listing of the countless recipes they have created. Does Paris live up to the saying? I have honestly no idea, nor do I really care. There's no time to actually read the book, but the version I obtained is the 100% Paris Hilton, without the help of any writers. Enjoy.

We should all take lessons Posted by Picasa

*Brett's Corner of Self-centeredness

Two rather large events this/next week(end). The first was the release of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire", which by the way is fantastic and is definately the movie to flock to during the holidays. Although it's hard to funnel 500+ pages of entertainment into a 2.5 hour film, the flick earns all the cash it recieved. It makes me wish I read books again...

And how could I forgot the release of the XBox 360. Although I will not be purchasing one (save your money for the superior PS3), it's a large leap for the video games industry.

You can take off the chains now. Have a great Thanksgiving and stay away from Hardee's!

Hey thats mine,

Monday, November 14, 2005

I'd tap it.

My future plans include buying a PS3 and going to college for journalism, so I better you know, journal about the news. Good practice, yes?

-----imaginary line of seperation------

People are regularly dying of cancer and AIDS, gas prices are mountains instead of hills and troops are getting killed in Iraq. Cheer up! The Turbo Tap is available in a stores everywhere.

The Turbo Tap is a beer dispensor that is well...turbo. Only found in fancy bars and stadiums (until now!), this tap shoots out lager faster than your average pressurized automatic liquid pourer. Critically acclaimed for both shorting lines and drowning alchoholics, the Turbo Tap is the biggest thing in beer-serving since wodden mugs.

The home version of the Turbo Tap will be similar to the bar variety, minus some of the quality and size. Plus you can only the Turbo Tap if you have a special refigerator with a keg insert, unique draft beer coolers or a fully-functional bar in your basement, complete with a cooky cast of regulars.

Sadly, nobody knows my name. Posted by Picasa

The Home Turbo Tap will retail for $179 for the regular model or $209 for a stand-alone tower version. This is compaired to the ones found in the bar/stadiums/stadibars, which cost you 99 smackers and maintenance fees. With this kind of money you can buy:

-8.94477 cases of Budweiser (214.90745 cans)
-Nintendo game cube with enough left over for a Tara Reid blowjob
-Wilson PD5 Performance 400CC Driver

Unless you hate golf, video games, oral sex or beer, the Turbo Tap isn't for you. If you must have one, but cannot seem to find the means of affording it, here is a handy alternative:

Haha, alcholism isn't funny. Posted by Picasa

South Park is going to sue my ass,
Brettzki on the 14th day of the 11th Month in the 2004th year after Christ.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

You're not the only one.

I've got a funny feeling, like we're all born to lose. But you know what? There's life that deserves to be lived.

When I tell people about JHF, they usually answer:
"You have a website? WTF/Sweet!"
When they actually visit JHF, they usually comment:
"Brett, that was a fantastic/gay site, you are funny/retarded."
Then I get the people who flooded my guestbook, leaving trails of "Packers suck" and "Hi." in their virtual paths. This isn't full-blown spam, but it might as well be. This is the reason I took down the guestbook.

It took me a while to figure out why my friends/enemies surprised to find I had my very own website, when it was so simple for anyone to get one for themself. Most teenager-sites on the web are llama droppings (crappy, but you don't see them very much). I've never considered JHF a normal "teen page", but maybe I should. My hits counter will reach 300 in the next week or so, if it already hasn't. I started JHF in June (formating) and July (first article), so that makes it about 4 to 5 months old. 300/4=75. Seventy-five viewers a month? I can assure you I emmensley appreciate ever single reader I get, but there's a whole world out on the Internet that's in reachable distance. Out of those 300 visitors, I'm guessing half are me, previewing or testing site updates, and another 100 or so are my friends, checking JHF as if it was some sort of personal blog. This is, of course, a pure estimate. There's really no way for me to tell whether my thoughts are correct or not.

This makes me wonder if my writing is as good as I think it is, if this site is worth maintaining or not. The answer to that is definately "Yes". I would say that I am not a quitter, but that would be a boldfaced lie. JHF will survive as long as I feel compelled to please others.

What's ahead for JHF:
-New Domain Name
-More comics
-Current Event Articles

The eraser sits,
Waiting for its chance to shine,
Its chance to destroy.

Here's a basic checklist of material I need to achieve that:
-$10 a month
-Drawing pen/Artistic Skill
-Digital camera
-Scanner that actually works
-More free time

I'll do my part if you do yours. Here's what you can expect in the near future:
-Thanksgiving Article/Comic
-A movie review...sometime
-Another About Page.

Which PA character are you?

The power of Christ compells you,
Brettzki on November 9th.